Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Why Can't You Find a BDSM Submissive?

By Mel Davey

You've seen the websites. You've read the books. And you've signed up for an account at Alt.com, or Bondage.com, or Collarme, or one of the other dozens of BDSM sites.

And no-one's returning your calls. There are, allegedly, thousands of kinky submissive women in your area, but can you get to talk to any of them? Can you? Hell.

A lot of people end up having an experience like this when they try to turn their fantasies into reality. Sadly, it's all too easy to get your kinky online profile or messages wrong, and if you do, you'll get nothing but a sinking feeling. Simple mistakes can have a huge effect on your chances of ever getting in contact with the right woman - sadly, online it's all too easy to make the wrong impression.

1. Are you on a paid site? Depressing but true - your chances are far higher on a paid site. Free sites encourage very, very casual users, abandoned profiles, and a variety of dubious business practises. If you join a paid site (like Alt.com, although there are plenty of other options) and actually pay to contact other people, you shrink the odds against you, because most other male Doms aren't willing to put in the effort. Pay that $15 a month and you shrink the odds against you from 100 to 1 to more like 2 to 1 or even lower.

2. Is your profile vague? It's a very common mistake to attempt to appeal to as many submissive women - or even just women, period - as possible. Don't do it. Be clear if you're a Dom or a sub, for starters - even if you're flexible, take a clear stand in your profile for the one you'd prefer right now. And be clear in what you want and what you're looking for. You might think that you're leaving the gates open for a wider audience, but in truth, if you're not sure what you want, most female submissives will assume you're a wannabe.

3. Do you have action pictures or testimonials? The biggest problem you'll have to face on a BDSM dating site is showing that you're actually serious and actually know what you're doing. The best weapons in your arsenal for doing that are testimonials from other women (yes, really) saying that you're a good Dom, and pictures showing you in action. If you haven't got either of those, there are a variety of strategies to get them - more than I can get into here. A couple of ideas - consider joining rope bondage workshops or similar to get experience and - with your model's permission - photos, or chatting on your chosen dating sites to get testimonials from female members even if they're not in your area.

4. Does your headline stand out? For most women browsing the site or reading your messages, all they'll ever see of you is the first sentence of your profile. If you've gone for anything that doesn't immediately grab the eye, you're in trouble. Think hard about what you're doing, and read other male profiles to see what phrases are overused. Humour works very well, as does (yes, again) being very, very specific in what it is you're looking for, or what you're offering.

Fix your profile's problems, and you'll soon start to find you have options for a great deal of kinky fun. It's actually surprisingly easy to meet women who want to have the kind of fun you want to have - you just have to overcome initial worries and fears, and get on with the business of both of you having a great deal of kinky sex!



Some very safe websites are linked below. 
DungeonVideochat 
CamContacts - Fetish / Dungeon 
All Cams - Fetish / Dungeon 
WebCamLife - Fetish / Dungeon 
CamSexNow - Fetish / Dungeon 
CamContact - Fetisch / Dominas - German speakers
CamContactos - Fetichismo / Sadomasoquismo - Spanish speakers


Have fun and feel free to write me anytime! 

1 comment:

  1. great post! Thanks, I am a fan of your blog. Richard G

    ReplyDelete