Looking for a mistress?

The first rule is, mistresses and dominatrices don’t just grow on trees, you have to make yourself an attractive option.
Whether you want to be a submissive as part of a relationship, or you’re just seeking relief, it’s important to understand that ‘I’ll do anything you want’ is something we hear everyday, especially from men.

First of all, decide on what it is you’re looking for. If you want something based around your needs, your desires and your schedule, then I’d recommend putting your money where your libido is and paying for a dominatrix.
As a mistress, I expect to be in command all the time. I expect you to be at my beck and call, it certainly won’t work the other way round.

So, I’ve put together a handy guide on how you can approach a prospective dominant without coming across as a complete dick.
‘Hello, mistress’ is not an opening line My Fetlife account, and even some of my dating apps, have a tonne of one-line messages like this. I’m not your mistress, and neither do I want to be when you’ve started with the BDSM equivalent of ‘hey, babe’. Don’t top from the bottom
Don’t start with a list of stuff you want to try. While that might come in handy later down the line, I’m more interested in hearing about you as a human.
Also, if you’re only going to be available for the things you want to do, on the days you want to do it, this isn’t going to work. Don’t just list all the things you want to do .

Be more than just a submissive or slave.

Unfortunately, too many submissive men think just by saying they’ll do what I want, I’ll want them to do it. However, my joy comes from being in control of another human who has made themselves an attractive prospect, not a doormat.
We’re picky bitches, and we want to see you have a interesting life outside of kink.

Don’t be ‘shy’ As soon as someone starts saying ‘I’d love to do more, but I’m shy’ I switch off. Nope, not for me. I want someone who has the confidence, passion and desire to really start experimenting. I’m sorry you’re shy, but no one bursts into their first BDSM munch or meet-up like Lord Flashheart. We all started somewhere, so you can too.

Get out Local munches and meet-ups are a great way to get out and prove you’re willing in person.  Frankly, our default status is to suspect any submissive bloke is just looking to wank off online, so being willing to attend events is a great way to start. Stop watching free fem-dom porn That’s not us, that’s not what we do, that’s never going to happen.
Several dominatrices will offer a bespoke video if you’re that keen, but the trash thrown up on free porn sites is literally just there to keep you clicking. The fantasy you see in a five minute clip will never reflect what it’s really like to serve someone, so stop trying to compare.

 We’re human, we’re vulnerable and we’re more than just a kink.

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Dominatrix playing with his slave

I know you wish that slave... But you won't get any of this as you don't deserve it

Is Cyber BDSM safe?

The question of the reality of BDSM cyber interactions is one that is guaranteed to bring up an emotional disagreement at any time. There are two schools of thought that argue this point the most. First you have those who believe in the reality of cyber interactions, and second you have those who do not believe in them at all, insisting they are nothing but fantasy. There is a third group, these are the people that tend to straddle the fence and believe that cyber can be real but it doesn't hold a candle to real life in any way shape or form. Whether or not one sees a cyber interaction as real seems to depend upon the person's view of cyber. If a person views cyber as just another reality, then their interactions will indeed be very real to them. If a person views cyber as nothing but a fantasy play land, then their interactions will not be real to them at all. A cyber relationship, in my experience, can indeed be very real. I base this on personal experience as well as knowledge of the human mind. The mind is the most influential part of a person. As well, it is the largest sexual organ any single human being can have. Cyber interactions deal directly with the mind. There are no visual inputs that can distract from the information being received by the mind. They require a greater ability to put feelings and thoughts into words. Because of this, one can create a mental and emotional bond much faster online. Further, cyber offers a sense of anonymity that allows people to open up faster and deeper than they would in a face to face conversation. This enhances the feeling of emotional closeness to the person you are interacting with and strengthens the mental bond. This bond, is very real to the one who feels it. The emotional responses of arguments, disagreements and such are the same for online relationships as those in reality. In some cases, the response can be more intense due to the fact that cyber interactions deal directly with the mind and heart. Words are one of the most powerful influences in a person's life. Cyber is a world created through words. Because of the power of words, cyber can be very much real. For example, if someone tells you "You look nice today" it makes you feel good. If someone says that online, it makes you feel good too. Cyber, however, contains quite a bit of fantasy. It is easy to get lost in the fantasy part of it. As well, it is dangerous to believe that everything that happens during kinky cyber sex or scenes, are an exact replica of what would happen in real life. Just because you kneel in cyber, does not mean you can do it in reality. Or just because you can type that you flogged someone, doesn't mean you have the experience or knowledge to actually do so in real life. It is important to keep the fantasy part of cyber interactions seperated from the reality part. There are many ways you can do that over the internet, some might be safer than others, but all in all you need to keep it safe , sane and consensual. As always. Source