Monday, October 22, 2012

The Power of the Desire to Survive

True Power is a gift freely given by those who understand the terms and conditions through informed consent. It is easy to take power forcibly or by deception but it is unsustainable as truths eventually are witnessed. These truths are at odds with claims and pronouncements of those that use force. Who is more powerful? The individual that must use extortion, lying and duress to get others to go along with his/her (horrid) idea or (dreadful) plan. The person who has cultivated animosity and destruction requiring constant attention to preventing/ending dissent or opposition. OR is the person who is given rule not just freely but by true brain lighting desire. A ruler that has been given authority by individuals who choose to be there (by informed consent), to inflict pain. The soul laid bare along with actual I.D. It is because of trust that is earned through meritocracy and mutual self interest. The person in control in this scenario also doesn’t have to put a lot of resources to always having to look behind them. Instead resources can be put toward building rather than suppressing.

I posit that the only true power anybody or thing has is the power that is willingly given-consented to by both parties. You can rescind and go home at any time . You have the ability and you always have had the ability. Just click your ruby heels together. Besides, it is easy to destroy and stomp. It requires no real skill. It is much more difficult and takes time to Master the art of cultivation, growth, and nurturing. Indifference, intolerance, injustice are so easy and also unsustainable.

That is the beauty and benevolence of the Dom/me<-> sub BDSM relationship. It at its heart is based on symbiosis rather than force. Permission and resources are freely given out of desire of both parties for their mutual benefit. Someone who enjoys X simply finds another who enjoys the same X.

We give new meaning and reinterpretations of cruelty. We are cruel to be kind in the right measure. We transform it into performance art and meditation. We co-opt the tools of violence and refine then redefine their use to make them into rewards of endorphins and sub-space. We challenge perception and require others to look closer. Things are not what they appear to be at first glance or even first inspection. Research. Read. Look closer. Ask questions. Do not just look at pictures and create a fantasy of secret and unresolved desires.

Both BDSM and fetish are the result of adaptation. It is how a whole bunch of people in society deal with pain and violence-both together (pain is associated with violence). The duo of pain and violence are antithetical to existence. Both can be harmful and use up resources that would otherwise be used for the enhancement of life. Through BDSM and fetish, pain is now attached to positive reward by association ->pain becomes desired treat->pain and violence are re interpretated in brain->pain is reward=violence removed

Force + Force=Force

The relationship between Dom/me and subby in a power exchange relationship is symbiotic. Each of the participants complements the other but also rely on each other. The masochist submissive wants to be beaten and the sadistically inspired Domina wants someone who can enjoy a beating . Greater pleasure can inspire intensity. Incremental increase of play and the body adapts and then can take more. By connecting enjoyable positive stimuli to what could be a barrier (pain) to most, instead becomes a new en-trance treat. A person who can accept a beating, pain, or some other extreme can survive better. Partners that are safe, sane and consensual can continue to play. It is sustainable. It symbiotic. It adapts and is adaptable. BDSM submission and fetish are moral.


As long as we allow others to speak for us rather than own the dialogue we are always in danger. We allow those who know nothing to speak as professors and make all of us into monsters to suit their evil narrative. Their rapt listeners drool for stories of corruption so to live vicariously while still feeling a sense moral superiority that is undeserved. It allows true villainy to wear the mask of status quo. It conflates anything and everything adult with bad and this results in anyone branded adult as bad. This false equation (based on rhetoric and hypocricy) Adult=Bad becomes a perfect excuse to steal our shit. Take away our jobs. Destroy our families. Who cares if something bad happens to a bad person? Mostly No One. That can open the doors to another Salem Witch Trial act 2 or McCarthy-ism 2.5. Who will speak for us? No One. It also makes it easy for thieves, be it an individual or a ginormous electronic third Party Payment system to steal. It is profitable to steal but it is not at all sustainable or symbiotic.

It is easy to use US for scandalous headline fodder of Faux News rags devoid of facts but full of bull. Everyone will believe it because that is the only message they see and hear. They don’t realize many of the people that they depend on to make their lives BETTER may be closeted kinsksters, fetishists, pornographers, porn consumers, Dom/mes, subbies, masochists. We are your sisters and daughters, brothers and sons. We are mothers and fathers, teachers and students, bakers and bankers, IT specialists and hackers, doctors and lawyers, construction workers and architects, artists and archetypes, police and firemen, judges, city employees and private sector employees. We are also atheists, agnostics, and believers of diverse religions and philosophies. This includes individuals from extreme religious sects like the Hasidim and Mormons. WE ARE EVERYWHERE.
Beauty is not in spite of but because of.

BDSM and Fetish celebrate diversity and beauty in its many joyous forms. There is no one type of beauty as there are so many things that comprise beauty. Perhaps only the vastness of galaxies could contain all the splendour. Big, small, tall thin, hung like a horse or a hamster, bald, furry, blond, gay, bi, try, with and without limbs. So many eyes and so much beauty to behold.

As long as we have a society based on control of the few over the many, forced gender roles, sexism, cruelty, inequality, violence, racism, and abuse, society (and the individuals who bare the brunt of those negatives) will find a way to adapt in order to survive under such afflictions. Therefore we will always have some form of BDSM and Fetish.

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